Friday, June 7, 2013
i am too tired and hungry to care about anything. all i think about is the food i want to eat. all i can smell is the food that other people are eating. pretty sure i have chewed 20 packs of gum. i chewed 4 packs in the last 2 days. i am fucking sick and tired of being a freak(pardon my words). can you imagine starving? it would be awful. i stayed home yesterday. i took care of myself.
lets do this. i am thankful for:
my health. i am the healthiest sick person and the sickest healthy person you ever met. i really am very healthy. i just have these stupid, stupid problems and i realize that compared to some and most people with similar issues, mine are minor.
my job. it's a good one even though it gets old. who's job doesn't get old?
my home. it is mine. even though nothing is ever finished. i have a good place to live.
my friends, neighbors and family. they inspire me every day.
medical food. even though it is disgusting and i hate it and it makes me feel nauseous. i am in so much less pain and maybe it will help us help me!
my mistakes. so people can forgive me and i can love them more. and i can better understand why other people do the things they do. it makes me a better person.
this could go on for days. this is what i do when i start feeling sorry for myself. i start listing the things i am thankful for. i do it in my head a lot, because the time when i hate myself most is when i start having a 'poor me' attitude. it is lame. life is hard. deal with it and move on!
i will get back to my fun, happy posting soon. when my mind and body are doing a little bit better! i am headed to a going away party for my friend, akbar tonight. there will be really good foods there. i won't eat any of them. promise.
have a super weekend lovers.