Tuesday, September 18, 2012

i have a lot on my mind lately

some things that are a big deal and some things that aren't important at all.  thinking out loud...

food.  i know i feel better without gluten in my diet.  but, my stomach has to be able to feel better than this.  is it time to cut out dairy?  i don't think that taking hyoscyamine as often as i need to is a good thing, but it tends to be very helpful to my level of comfort.  especially if i am running a long distance.  how else can i change my diet to get this belly of mine the happiest it can be?

learning something new. like becoming a wilderness first responder.  and also,  i have been thinking a lot about what it would involve to become a wildness emt.  it is definitely something i am interested in.  would it be useful?  worth my time, money and commitment?  would i like it?

rock climbing.  i really want to do a lot of it at the gym this winter to get my skill and strength up so that when the warm months come again i can have me some fun times climbing again.

religion.  organized religion.  spirituality.  what do i really believe?  there are some really specific things that i feel i know/believe and there are some things i am not sure about and there are some things i definitely don't believe.  i consider myself a spiritual person.  i talk to god every single day.  more than once.  i would be lost without that relationship with my heavenly father.  i would be lost without my belief that jesus christ died for me.  those things are a huge part of who i am and the decisions that i make in my life.  does one need to be a member of an organized church to know that god lives?  no.  does one need to be a member of an organized religion to feed spirituality or keep their faith alive?  maybe.  if one is a member a specific church, do they have to agree with every aspect of it to be a "faithful" member?  no.  do i think there is truth and goodness in many different religions both christian and non christian.  yes.  so where do i fit in?  does it even matter?

my siblings.  they are very cool and talented people.  and i wish i could be more like each one of them.  i think about them and wonder what they are up to all the time.  i miss them and wish i could see them more often.

living in the now.  i hate it when i am wishing for things.  it makes me feel ungrateful.  which i am most certainly not.  this is just a hard one.

people.  specifically friends.  does it seem that certain people enter your life at certain times for sometimes very specific reasons?  or sometimes for reasons that you don't understand, but hope to some day?  i am constantly amazed by the people in my life that i have the opportunity to know.

that's a lot of stuff rumbling around up there in my brain.  makes me self conscious to share it with you, but there you go.

hope your tuesday is fantastic.  xo lovers,



  1. Oh sweetie. Love you forever and always, no matter what. Also, I finally figured out that eggs were my tummy's biggest problem. Seriously, eggs. Freakin pisses me off. LOL. Sometimes it's just something weird and strange like that. Lame. Good luck figuring all of it out! *hugs*

  2. I think a lot about many of the same things. If becoming a wildness emt would fill you with an amazing amout of joy and excitement to go to work each day then definitely look into it more. Religion is a hard one....I grew up with my dad being a preacher and I have had so many questions about what makes up a real relationship with God and what tends to be merely church doctrine. I have respect for anyone who has a belief in their own God and who respects others rights to believe in whatever God(or not) they choose to believe in.
    I totally can understand where you are coming from with missing your siblings...both of mine live a couple states away and I haven't seen either of them in 6 years! Living in the now is something I strive for as well, but often fall short with. It is hard isn't it! Hope you have a great one and are able to find some satisfactory answers to your thoughts.

  3. Well, I am jealous of your Havasupi trip, I have never been and really want to go so bad some day. Your post was deep. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I too think of you guys (my siblings)and miss you and think you are all incredible and wish we all got to be together more. I also am amazed by the people I have met in all the places we have lived, of all different religions and with different believes and I have been able to get along with so many people and feel that each person you get to know affects your life and changes your prespective, makes you better. I think religion is good, especially our's:) I am sorry your stomach hurts all the time and know that sucks. Life sucks sometimes no matter how good you have it or how grateful you are, it just does. And sometimes it is really amazing too. I day dream about Colorado Springs and rock climbing...heck, just being outside! I miss you.

  4. Oh and I think being a wilderness first responder or emt would be super cool and fulfulling.