Sunday, October 1, 2017

it's been a very long time...kings of summer

ayokay  //  kings of summer

you will hear from me soon. i have so much to share in this space about the last 5 months of my life. i miss writing and posting in this space. my journal. i haven't been home for almost a month. i have been to new countries, i have heard countless bands play live, i have been up many mountains, i have run races, i have skinny dipped, i have jumped into lakes and rivers, i have ridden my bike in the city with friends late into the night, i have reached the last year of my 30's, i have been working on re-defining my relationship with god, i have gone surfing, i have had amazing sex, i have danced, i have gone to new national parks, i have been treating my cancer, i still can't sleep, i still have terrible nightmares, i have been in slot canyons, i have a new tattoo, i have felt alive, i have felt sexy, i have felt dead, i have felt empty, i have felt so very happy, i have felt frustrated, i have felt angry, i have felt the depths of sadness, i have felt so alone and misunderstood, i have had panic attacks and anxiety, i have felt more adventurous and free and outgoing than ever, i have run down the beach with my sisters in the pitch dark during a lightening storm, i have friends that go up the peaks and down the trails with me, i have danced on mountain tops, i have a group of friends that are a family to me and i love them, i have gone on road trips, i have slept under the stars, in a camper van and in a tent, i have seen countless sunset, some of them in places i never imagined possible...on the beach in nicaragua, on the white cliffs of dover, from a mountain top...

here's a little photo montage glimpse. i will write individual posts.

best summer of my life.

toodles for now lovers. my body is still adjusting to the time zone and i should be sleeping!



Friday, May 12, 2017


i have so much to write about! but, this mornin i am packing and heading out for a canyoneering adventure in escalente for the weekend. woot! it's been way too long.

i'm currently listening to this album - strange trails // lord huron 

my leg is in full flare/pain mode - insert angry eyes

a new opportunity has come up for me at work

it felt good to be kissed after a year and a half dry spell

my heart is wide open to any possibility

nothing is set in stone

plans can change

or not

who knows

toodles for now lovers.



Wednesday, April 26, 2017

trail time and stuff

i have been getting tons of trail time in. i get up on the trail every other day early afternoon when i am done baking and on saturdays. in between those days are my gym days for weights. karl meltzer was on the same trail as me a couple of saturdays ago. i went up to mount wire. found that little rock under my foot that looks just like a bear.

love spring blooms.

i planted some new little cactus plants. they replaced some other plants that had died.

the most recent think again study group was about climate change. robert davies came and talked with us.

i had a blissful time saturday going up to lake blanche. lots of snow, cool temps, blue sky and sunshine.

i didn't take any pictures on easter. i went with my friends henry and akbar to get a couple of briskets that akbar seasoned and smoked all night long. i lasted until 2:30 am. ha. i had to be up for 9 am church! the next day we had a big easter feast back at his house. lots of friends. lots of food. i made my white chocolate nutella brownies. the brisket was amazing. delicious... easter was more meaningful for me then ever before this year. that gift is one of the only things that helps me get through thinking of o's body being under the ground. i don't visit his grave very often because it really bothers me to think of him like that.

anyway, toodles for now loves.